


(this love will be the) End of Me

by shadowtraveled (meteorfest)



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M, take away my keyboard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-13
Updated: 2013-09-13
Packaged: 2017-12-26 11:48:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/965586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meteorfest/pseuds/shadowtraveled
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started out as most afternoons did - playing video games, having sex, and spending the next three months ridden with guilt. </p><p>(Author can't figure out how to summarize 10k worth of fic)</p>
            </blockquote>





	(this love will be the) End of Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cedarleaf](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Cedarleaf), [all the percico shippers who've put up with my liveblogging of this fic](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=all+the+percico+shippers+who%27ve+put+up+with+my+liveblogging+of+this+fic).



> I am blaming Cedarleaf for this because when I asked if I should do fluffy, painful, angry, or smutty Percico, she said to do all of them. *cracks knuckles* Guess what, I did it, I hit all four requirements. It only took two months and a lot of screaming, crying, and begging for death.
> 
> Disclaimer: If anyone asks, everything is mine. If Riordan asks, I'll be in international waters with my pirate crew and I dare him to lay a finger on me.

Was it supposed to go this far? The two of them had been playing video games in Percy's room, thumbs mashing the buttons on their controllers, a bag of chips laying on the bed in front of them, hands occasionally snatching a few chips between rounds. It was just a lazy afternoon where they'd both been bored – Percy at home alone while his mother and step-father were out of town for the weekend and Nico just being Nico - so the son of Hades had come over to hang out, help Percy eat everything in the kitchen, and play Mario Kart.

Somewhere between trying to throw each other off Rainbow Road, the game had been abandoned for something a little more physical. The bag of chips had been unceremoniously kicked to the floor and its innards were spilled across the carpet. Percy had Nico pinned to the bed, hands holding the younger teen's slim hips as he kissed the son of Hades deeply and thoroughly. 

The first kiss had thrown Nico off his already lowered guard. Percy's lips smashed against his without warning, making him drop his controller in surprise. Before he could really get out any sort of vocal protest, Percy was pushing him down, leaning over him. One kiss ended, Percy pulling back only by centimeters, an apology half-fallen from his lips before Nico threw his arms around the older demigod and pulled him back down for another kiss.

The kisses become increasingly longer, rougher, and more desperate as time passed. Nico had lost his shirt at one point, Percy's fingers tracing over his pale stomach and drawing shivers from the younger teen. Lips moved down, trailing along the Nico's jaw as he gasped for breath, his own fingers running through Percy's hair, tangling in the black threads. Percy's hips met Nico's, drawing a low moan from the son of Hades, echoed by the older demigod when Nico mirrored the gesture.

They were a mess of tangled limbs after that, hips grinding, hands traveling over back and stomach, seeking sensitive points on each other's bodies. Percy's bedroom filled with the sounds of moans, gasps, and pleas, over the music still emanating from the television as the game sat ignored. Neither participant was paying any attention to the game music, entirely focused on each other. 

Nico had never done this before, not with another person. He was a teenaged boy and had experimented with himself in private, but it wasn't the same as having Percy's hips, hands, and lips eliciting pleasure from him. Percy was tugging worn black jeans from Nico's slim waist, snagging the briefs worn underneath at the same time, exposing the flesh beneath. Nico's hardening length quivered at Percy's touch, the older teen's hand – calloused from years of sword-fighting – stroking him with practiced ease and drawing a sharp gasp that morphed into a moan, into a plea for more.

Percy took the encouragement for all it was worth, taking a moment to slip his own jeans off before sprawling over Nico again, lips pressed against the younger teen's once more. One hand reached to the low chest of drawers that he used as a bedside table, opening a small drawer. Nico couldn't see what the son of Poseidon was looking for, but the sound of a wrapper tearing met his ears after a moment. The kiss between them broke, for air and so Percy could pull on the condom.

“You okay with this?” Percy asked, suddenly pausing and looking at Nico. Nico had been encouraging him the whole time, but he had to make sure; he didn't dare continue without Nico's consent. 

Nico hesitated for only a brief moment before nodding. For the longest time, he'd wanted to be with Percy. He'd fallen in love with the son of Poseidon a long time ago, considered Percy his first love. This was an opportunity that he couldn't just pass up. It seemed to matter little to him that there was nothing preceding it; Percy said nothing about why, made no allusions to what it meant, had only started kissing Nico and built up from there.

In the heat of the moment, Nico didn't care what it meant. He had his chance and he was going to take it. 

From the same drawer he'd pulled the condom from, Percy had drawn out a little tube of lubricant, which he opened and slathered his fingers with. Nico's heart was thumping in his chest, apprehension and anticipation filling him as Percy's fingers slipped down and prodded his entrance gently. Percy seemed to be aware that it was Nico's first time and was taking precautions to make it easy on the younger teen's body, preparing him slowly, fingers teasing him as they prodded, stretched, and sought to please. 

“ _Please_ , Percy,” Nico couldn't help whining after a while. He was as ready as he could be and Percy was taking his sweet time. Nico threw his arms around the son of Poseidon and pulled him down for a desperate kiss. “I want you so much.”

Percy returned the kiss easily, fingers sliding out of the younger teen. “Oh, you do, huh?” he smirked against Nico's lips. His hands gripped at Nico's thin hips, pulling the son of Hades against him, positioning himself to take Nico. At Nico's enthusiastic nod, Percy pushed himself in, moaning at the heat that enveloped him.

Nico couldn't begin to describe what he felt. It was pain, pleasure, fulfillment. It was finally giving himself to the one person he'd love since he first discovered who he was. Years of silent crushing, working behind the scenes to make sure Percy survived the wars, watching as Percy dated Annabeth, had all led to this moment. Whatever had brought this on between them didn't matter as much as the fact that it was happening, that Nico finally got to be with Percy in almost every way he wanted to be.

Legs tangled around the son of Poseidon, Nico's hips met Percy's as thrusts went from slow and purposeful to desperate, hard, and fast. The bed beneath them thumped against the wall, springs in the mattress squeaking in protest to the heavy movement. Moans, gasps, and pleas took up their part in a symphony of ecstasy, Nico's unrestrained, Percy's low and contained. 

Everything came to a peak as Percy's hips rocked against Nico's, hand between their bodies stroked Nico's already hard length, and lips trailing over the son of Hades' neck and collar. All senses blown, Nico's body arched beneath Percy's as he let out a high moan with his release, white hot cum splashing between them. He instinctively held onto Percy, arms and legs tight around the older teen as he rode out his orgasm, body still rocking with Percy, who continued his rhythm until his own release came.

The two demigods collapsed together against the mattress, Percy still hilt-deep in Nico as they recovered, gasping for breath, bodies shuddering from exertion. Nico's fingers had found their way back into Percy's hair, tips brushing against scalp as Percy's lips pressed against the curve of Nico's neck. It took several long minutes for either of them to recover and a few more after that before Percy shifted to pull out of Nico. 

“That was fun,” Percy murmured, flopping down next to Nico. 

Fun? _That_ was what Percy chose to describe what they'd just done? Nico might have said something more like amazing or exhilarating. Maybe a little exhausting, but then again, it _was_ his first time. Moving made his body ache, so Nico stayed where he was, looking up at the ceiling as he tried to slow his heavy breathing. 

“We knocked the chips over,” he commented, a bit absently.

Percy laughed. “Are you hungry after that?”

Nico was glad his face was already warm from sex, since it was probably hiding the blush from the embarrassment he felt from his own comment. “Maybe a little?”

Percy sat up, clearly not sore the way Nico was. He slipped off the bed, grabbing the jeans he'd discarded early. “Gimme a minute and I'll get something better than chips,” he said, disappearing out of the bedroom to the bathroom across the hall. He came back after a while with his jeans back on, a towel for Nico to clean up with, and a box of leftover pizza.

They returned to their game after re-dressing and indulging of cold pepperoni pizza.

* * * * *

After that first time, it became an odd sort of habit for them. Nico would come over, they'd play video games in Percy's room, make out in the middle of it, and sometimes, they'd have sex. They never planned it, it was always spur of the moment. They didn't always keep to Percy's room, either; whenever Sally and Paul weren't home, they had free reign of the apartment and Percy couldn't keep his hands to himself. Blowjobs occurred in the kitchen, fingering came about on the couch, and Percy had even invited himself in while Nico was taking advantage of the shower to take the younger demigod against the bathroom wall. 

They carried on for three months like this and the whole time, Nico made no complaints about it. He never asked what was going on between him and Percy. The son of Poseidon never explained himself, never gave a reason for all the sex. Truth be told, Nico thoroughly enjoyed it, but there was always a nagging voice in the back of his mind asking what was happening. 

As far as he knew, Percy was technically still dating Annabeth, despite the distance between them. After the war against Gaea had come to an end, the daughter of Athena had gone to New Rome to help Reyna bring peace between the Greeks and Romans. She sent news back to Camp Half-Blood often via Iris Message and Nico was sure that she frequently sent IMs to Percy, since the son of Poseidon sometimes mentioned how things were going in New Rome.

So, if he was still dating Annabeth, why was Percy having sex with Nico? Of course, Nico knew the family history of infidelity; Poseidon was almost as much as an adulterer as Zeus. Percy had that fatal flaw of loyalty going on, though. By all means, shouldn't that mean Percy would be faithful to his girlfriend?

Obviously not, considering the number of times Percy had Nico pinned to mattress, floor, wall, and sometimes even counter, balls deep inside the son of Hades, lips latched to Nico's, teeth and nails leaving marks of all sorts on the younger teen's body. 

It wasn't as if Nico ever said no, though. He'd never been able to say no to Percy and, to be honest, he didn't think he could. He'd been in love with the son of Poseidon for far too long and now he had him. The thing was, and Nico thought about this often, how much did he have Percy? He had no idea if Percy loved him or was just having sex with Nico because Nico let him, because Nico was a convenient outlet for Percy's lust. Were they actually lover or was Percy just using him?

They were tucked into the corner between Percy's window and the dresser, Nico straddling the older demigod, rising and falling onto Percy's length, drawing him in and out, when Nico decided he needed to know. It was probably the worst time to ask when they were both so close to climax, neither of them actually able to think clearly with their minds clouded with pleasure. 

Nico's forehead rested against Percy's shoulder as he rode the son of Poseidon, one hand tangled in Percy's hair, something he found himself always doing when they did this. “P-Percy?”

The older demigod bit back a moan, fingernails digging into Nico's slim hips. “Yeah?”

“Do you...love me?”

Percy didn't answer for a long moment, too caught up in the heat of the moment to make any sort of comprehensive answer. The only noises that escaped him were his heavy breaths, combined with an undeniable whine for Nico to keep moving. “N-Nico...”

Nico's hips undulated over Percy, his lips trailing over the older demigod's neck until he reached Percy's ear. “Do you love me?” he asked again, nipping at Percy's earlobe. 

“Mmhm.” Percy's response was non-committal, distracted, thrown out as Nico's movements brought him to the edge. He gave a long, low groan as he released inside of the younger demigod, hands slipping behind the teen to pull him close. “Whatever you want.”

Nico's heart sank even as his pleasure spiked. Percy's answer had been everything that Nico had been hoping it wouldn't be; dismissive, insincere, and heartbreaking. He quieted, letting his mouth drop from Percy's ear, head returning to the crook of the older demigod's neck, where it stayed. He couldn't look at Percy right now. 

* * * * *

Nico stopped going over to Percy's after that. He couldn't let things continue the way they had. He loved Percy, but it was clear to him now that Percy didn't return his feelings. It should have been something Nico expected; after all, Percy loved Annabeth, didn't he? Why would he suddenly fall in love with Nico? Because they were having sex? Hardly. Nico didn't need to be an Aphrodite kid to know that sex didn't necessarily mean love.

Maybe it had for him, though. For three months, he'd gone along with this arrangement with Percy because he loved him, even if some part of him knew the older demigod might not love him back. Even if it was just sex for Percy, it had been more for Nico. That's what made it hurt; Nico had let himself think that it was more than what it was and had let it go too far. He wouldn't let it happen anymore. 

Instead of hanging out at Percy's, Nico returned to Camp Half-Blood and stayed there. It was still early May and Percy was still in school, so being at camp for the time being seemed a safe bet. When Percy inevitably returned, Nico could simply shadow travel to Camp Jupiter to hang out with his sister. Of course, at Camp Jupiter, there was the chance of running into Annabeth and having guilt eat at Nico for sleeping with her boyfriend.

He'd deal with that if and when it happened. For now, Nico would stay at Camp Half-Blood. It was easy to slip into routine at the camp, joining another cabin for activities so he wasn't alone all the time. Being at camp meant he stayed busy, with training, learning, and practicing. The Stoll brothers, always interested by the son of Hades, would often hang out with him, giving him something to distract him from his heartache. They'd finally successfully taught him poker and were becoming increasingly frustrated as he beat them at their favorite game.

A week after Nico stopped going to Percy's, he received an Iris Message from the son of Poseidon, which he refused to answer. Percy then sent a message through Hermes Express, which Nico also ignored. Any time Percy tried to get a hold of him, Nico went out of his way to avoid contact. Even when Travis and Connor brought up the fact that Percy had resorted to calling them to try to get a hold of Nico, the son of Hades refused to relent. Percy had hurt him and Nico wasn't going to let it happen again. 

Of course, Percy was every bit as stubborn as Nico was and continued to call. Nico almost wondered where the son of Poseidon was getting all the drachma he was using to send so many Iris Messages and it was one morning, after about two weeks of avoiding calls, that Nico finally let Iris patch them through to each other as he went about getting dressed.

“What do you want, Percy?” Nico asked, casually pulling off the shirt he'd slept in. If Percy was going to be so damn insistent about calling him in the morning, Nico was going to act like it was no big deal. 

“Why have you been ignoring me?” Percy shot back. Nico wasn't facing the misty Iris Message and couldn't see the older demigod's face, but he would bet his next drachma that the son of Poseidon's eyes were following the line of his back. “I've been trying to get a hold of you for weeks!”

“I know.” Nico tossed his shirt onto his bed and moved over to grab a clean shirt, pulling it on over his head before turning back to the Iris Message and the son of Poseidon who was glaring at him through the mist. “I'm busy, Jackson.”

“Not according to Travis and Connor,” Percy told him. “Nico, would you just talk to me?”

“I really don't feel like it.”

Percy heaved a sigh on the other end of the Iris Message and ran a hand through his hair. “Look, Nico, I just want to know what's going on.”

Nico really could not stand it. At Percy's weary tone, something in the younger teen snapped. He'd meant to keep himself in check, but he had spent months keeping quiet, keeping his feelings bottled up, venturing once to find out what it all meant and he'd been hurt as a result. He'd left, tried to put everything behind him, only for Percy to keep calling, and now, act oblivious. Nico had felt guilty, ashamed, hurt, and now angry. He couldn't hold himself back anymore.

“What's going on is you _used_ me, Percy!” he told the son of Poseidon, finally voicing the thoughts and painful revelations that he'd been trying to contain for the last couple of weeks since that last time they'd slept together. “For three months, I let you take whatever you wanted from me. I thought I _finally_ had a chance. I thought _maybe_ my feelings were finally returned. Instead, it was just me being delusional. I'm nothing to you, except a convenient body!”

Nico turned his back on the Iris message, just catching a look of shock on Percy's face before the misty image disappeared from his line of sight. His throat burned, an acidic taste at the back of his mouth that he could barely swallow through. He'd long ago learned to suppress his emotions, Minos having taught him that it was showing weakness to show emotion; Nico may have forsaken his treacherous mentor, but there were lessons that he'd continued to carry with him. 

“Nico, that's - ”

“Don't try to tell me that it's not true, Percy!” Nico interrupted, refusing to turn back around. “I heard you last time! Whatever I want, right? I want to mean _something!_ If I'm _anything_ to you, then _what am I_?”

The problem now that the question was out there, Nico didn't want to hear the answer. He'd already said what he believed was the answer; that he didn't mean much, if anything at all, to Percy. If he'd meant anything, then his question just a couple of weeks ago would have been met with an answer more than a dismissive 'sure, whatever.' Nico had his answer already and truly believed that anything Percy had to say now would either be lies or an even more painful truth. 

“Nico, look at me.” Percy's voice was far too calm, after Nico's own emotional, flooding confession. 

“I don't want to!” Nico snapped. 

He took a step forward and grabbed his shoes, intending to storm out of his cabin on Percy's message. When Percy persisted, still trying to get Nico to face him, the younger teen furiously shook his head and spun on his heel just long enough to throw one of his shoes through the Iris message, cutting off the connection and effectively ending the conversation.

Taking a moment to take a deep breath to calm himself, Nico stood in the middle of his cabin, empty but for himself, his bed, and his few belongings. With the Iris message dissipated, the glow of the message gone, the cabin was dim. It had always been dark, but now, it seemed almost too dark and too quiet for Nico's tastes. Rather than the comfort and solitude his cabin offered, Nico now found it almost stifling.

Dropping his remaining shoe on the floor again, Nico toed it on and then retrieved the other, doing the same in silence before finally snatching up his sword and leaving the cabin. He wouldn't be returning to it again when it came time for curfew. As suffocated as he felt there in that moment, he didn't think he could stand to spend the night in his own cabin. He had no idea where he _would_ be staying that night, but he'd figure something out. If it came down to it, he was sure he could convince Travis and Connor to let him seek refuge in the Hermes cabin for the night.

* * * * *

As it turned out, Nico had wound up skulking back to his cabin, not long after he'd left, feeling physically and emotionally drained. Despite his attempts to move on that day, he almost hyper-focused on the final confrontation he'd had with Percy. It had nearly gotten him speared through during a practice match in the arena with a child of Hebe who still fumbled her footwork. The girl had started panicking when she realized her blade had drawn blood and had very nearly dropped her sword on her own foot trying to help get Nico to the infirmary.

Travis had taken over and half-carried Nico to see one of the healers while Connor told the crying youngster that there was nothing to worry about, that Nico was fine and wouldn't be sending his undead mafia after her for gashing him. Nico had heard the girl squeak in fear at the mention of an undead mafia and let Travis lead him away after that. After getting patched up by Will in the infirmary, Nico had retired to his cabin, where he'd flopped down onto his bed, still in his jeans and t-shirt, and _stayed there._

Nico slept for most of the next couple of days, the stress of the last day having drained everything out of him. The feeling was similar to the exhaustion he felt after overusing his powers, but he hadn't so much as lifted a shadow before the drain hit him. He couldn't explain what had happened, only that the times he woke up were brief and far between. 

Travis and Connor were there during one of those times he'd been awake. The two of them had plopped themselves down on the floor by Nico's bed and turned concerned expressions on the son of Hades when they realized he was awake. They'd brought food from lunch and made sure that Nico ate enough to make up for two days in bed before grilling him about what had been going on. 

It took quite a bit of convincing, and no small amount of threatening to hand Nico over to the Aphrodite cabin, to finally get answers out of the younger demigod. Nico reluctantly told them what happened the other day, though he watered the circumstances down immensely, summing it up to the very basics; that he and Percy had gotten into an argument. He wasn't sure he wanted to tell them what the argument had been about or what exactly had led to it. 

The fewer people who knew what happened, the easier it would be to put it behind him, right?

“So, you're basically sulking?” Travis asked, arching a brow. 

Nico wrinkled his nose at the older Stoll brother. “I'm not sulking.”

“You're not eating, you're not leaving your cabin, and you're sleeping all the time,” Connor pointed out. “You're sulking. Trust me, we've seen it before.”

“You should have seen Connor after Leo turned him down,” Travis grinned. “He sulked for a week.”

“I did not.”

“Did so.”

“Did not.”

Nico rolled his eyes as the two argued childishly for a couple of minutes, before he finally interrupted, “I'm _not_ sulking. You're giving Percy too much credit if you think _he_ could make me sulk.”

Travis and Connor exchanged glances and Nico had the uneasy feeling that they knew a lot more than he'd told them. He wondered if Percy had been talking to them while trying to get a hold of him. Judging by the glances the two brothers shared, they knew _something,_ but Nico was pretty sure that Percy wouldn't have told them about the affair between them.

Then again, Connor had just turned a knowing look on him.

“You know your crush on Percy was always obvious, right?” 

Nico blinked, like he had no clue what Connor was talking about. “What crush on Percy?” he asked, trying to feign confusion. “I don't have a crush on Percy.”

Travis grinned at him. “Yeah, right. So that's why you gushed about him most of the time you were at camp when Percy first brought you here.”

“And why you kept insisting on helping him to make up for the stunts you pulled after you ran away,” Connor added.

“And why you immediately went out to look for him when we got word he was missing.”

“And why you - ”

“That's enough!” Nico interrupted, crossing his arms over his chest. “Okay, so you guys know I like him.”

“And we bet that's part of the argument you were talking about,” Travis told him. 

“Can you guys just drop it?” Nico asked. He really didn't want to have this discussion. “It doesn't matter anyways. I'm over it.”

Connor leveled Nico with an unimpressed look. “Uh-huh. That's why you locked yourself in here and stayed in bed for two days and have been avoiding Percy like the plague for two weeks.”

“Drop it,” Nico repeated, throwing a half-piece of bread leftover from his lunch at Connor. 

Connor raised his hands to block the incoming multigrained projectile. “Okay, okay. Dropping it.” He wrinkled his nose at the son of Hades. “But you really ought to get out of your cabin a bit. Rumors are starting to spread that you've become a vampire.”

“Rumors totally not started by us, I may add,” Travis interjected. 

“We might have fanned the flames of the rumors, though,” Connor admitted.

Nico rolled his eyes. “Of course.” He sighed and got out of bed, still dressed in the same clothes he'd been in when he'd retreated into his cabin the other day, having never bothered to change. “You guys can go stop those rumors. I'll be out in a little while.”

Travis and Connor nodded in unison and stood up, both of them seemingly satisfied with how things had gone. At least they were getting Nico back out of his cabin. Though Nico wasn't sure himself how long he'd be out. He still felt tired, despite how much he'd slept. The conversation with the Stolls hadn't done much to help him feel better.

Maybe he wasn't as over things with Percy as he'd thought and claimed.

* * * * *

Nico did manage to finally leave his cabin and, for a while, he seemed all the better for it. He joined the Stolls in the arena for sword practice, took part in the camp mythology class for the day, and was even at dinner that night. Being out of his cabin and away from the sense of suffocation inside helped him feel less exhausted and he kept up with his friends pretty easily. By the time the week was over, he was actually feeling pretty okay.

All things considered, his recovery couldn't have come at a better time and Nico wondered whether it was coincidence that he was doing so much better when he had an upcoming visit with his half-sister planned. After the war with Gaea ended and they'd returned to their own camps, Nico had promised Hazel that he'd visit Camp Jupiter every once in a while. The two of them had been planning a visit for that weekend, in fact. 

It would be a nice break from the drama he was dealing with, Nico decided as he packed a couple of things. He could talk to Hazel, see how she was doing, focus on something entirely different from his own problems. He could _relax_ for a while.

He'd intended to leave right from his cabin Saturday morning and arrive at Camp Jupiter early enough, with the time difference, to watch the sun rise on the West Coast from the roof of the Temple of Pluto with Hazel; ever since his capture in Tartarus and the subsequent days he'd spent locked in that accursed jar before his rescue, Nico had come to appreciate the sun a little more. He'd regained quite a bit of his color in the past several months since Gaea's defeat.

An unexpected knock at the door to the Hades cabin put a bit of a damper in Nico's plans. Figuring it was Travis and Connor, come to kidnap him early for breakfast, the son of Hades stuffed the extra shirts he had in hand into his overnight bag and pulled it closed before slinging it over his shoulder, then headed towards the door. 

“You guys know I have plans,” he called, knowing the brothers could hear him through the door. When he pulled it open, though, he stopped short. “Percy?”

Nico very nearly slammed the door shut in the son of Poseidon's face, but Percy was quick. He grabbed the door and pushed his way into the cabin, forcing Nico to step back. The older demigod closed the door behind him, cutting off Nico's escape that way or, at least, keep anyone outside from overhearing the impending confrontation.

“What are you doing here?” Nico asked, crossing his arms over his chest. It was too early for Percy to be out of school and back to camp, even if it was a weekend.

“I got into some trouble at school,” Percy shrugged, seeming to be trying to keep things casual. “They suspended me for the rest of the school year, but Paul's pulling some strings to get me back in for senior year, though.” He gave a shake of his head, dispelling the conversation for the time being. “That's not why I'm here though, Nico. I know we haven't been on good terms lately - ”

“We're still not,” Nico pointed out, cutting Percy off and pushing past him to the door, not looking at the older boy. “I'm not having this discussion, Jackson. I said my piece and I'm done.”

“Nico, wait.” Percy's hand encircled Nico's wrist, stopping the son of Hades in his tracks. “You might've said what you needed to say, but I haven't.”

“Let go of me, Percy.” Nico's voice was calm, but there was an underlying tone that suggested a warning. 

“Not until you listen.”

“I don't _want_ to listen!” Nico told him, sharply tugging his wrist out of Percy's grip. He ignored the consequent dull throbbing in his wrist and started again towards the door. Of course, though, Percy was stubbornly insistent about stopping Nico and having his say, as proved when the son of Poseidon moved to block the door. “Percy, get out of the way!”

“Nico, will you just _give me a chance to explain_?!”

Nico snapped his mouth shut and took a step back, glaring at Percy. He kept quiet and watched the older teen for a moment, unsure of what his next move would be – whether he'd let Percy talk or if he'd just leave. His mind was made up when Percy took a single step towards Nico, and the son of Hades pulled the shadows of the cabin around him. If he couldn't get past the other demigod, he'd take the shadows out of the cabin and directly to Camp Jupiter.

“Damn it, Nico! I - ”

Anything Percy meant to say was cut off as the shadows wrapped around their summoner and a deep chill enveloped Nico as darkness overtook him. He took a step forward, letting the shadows lead him across the distance to Camp Jupiter. 

* * * * *

It was early on the West Coast, too early to wake Hazel up for the sunrise, so he let himself step out of the shadows into the Fifth Cohort's bunker and took a seat on one of the vacant beds. He was too on edge to go back to sleep, so he pulled out the black 3DS he'd received for his birthday and played one of his games for a while.

Closer to the time the sun would rise, Nico flipped his game off and gently shook Hazel awake. His half-sister took a couple of moments to rouse herself and sit up, blinking her molten gold eyes a few times before giving Nico a small smile, one that Nico couldn't help but return. Hanging out with Hazel could make anyone feel better. She had an air about her that made even Nico genuinely smile.

“Ready to go?” Hazel asked, keeping her voice quiet so she didn't wake her bunk-mates. At Nico's nod, she sat up and swung her legs over the edge of her bed. “Gimme a minute.”

Hazel quickly got dressed, pulling on a pair of jeans and a light hoodie over the Camp Jupiter t-shirt she'd slept in, and followed Nico quietly out of the bunker. They made their way out of the camp and to Temple Hill, where they made a beeline for the Temple of Pluto. The first rays of sunrise were beginning to lighten the sky as they reached the roof of the temple. 

“So what have you been up to lately?” Hazel asked, slipping her hand into the pocket of her hoodie and pulling out a pack of Poptarts. She took one and handed the other one to Nico. “It's been a while since you visited.”

Nico nibbled at the pastry in his hand. “Yeah, I've been a little busy,” he told her. “You know how I am.”

Hazel nodded, taking a bite of her Poptart. Silence passed between them for a few minutes as they watched the sun come up over the hills surrounding Camp Jupiter and New Rome. The light from the sun stretched over the camp, the temples, and the two children of the Underworld, warming away the grey cast over the world by the night. 

“So how's Percy?” Hazel asked, finally breaking the silence.

Nico stiffened at the son of Poseidon's name, recovering a moment later with a shrug. “He's probably fine. Doesn't Annabeth talk to you about him?”

“Nico.” Hazel turned to her brother, putting her hand lightly on his wrist. Nico looked at her, seeing the concern lighting her features, her golden eyes soft and knowing. “I've talked to _him_. He's hurt, Nico.”

“You think I'm not?” Nico asked, voice quiet. He ducked his head, thinking back to just earlier that morning, when Percy had surprised him, had tried to talk to him. He'd caught a glimpse of pain on the older demigod's face, but any pain Percy might be feeling couldn't possibly compare to what Nico had been feeling. “He has no idea, Hazel.”

“You love him, don't you?”

Nico gave a slight nod, so subtle that it hardly seemed like he'd moved. “I've...loved him for a long time,” he said, speaking around a lump that was forming in his throat. “I couldn't even tell you when I realized it. He was already with Annabeth when I figured it out.”

Hazel's hand left her brother's wrist as she scooted closer to Nico, putting her arm around the older demigod instead for a light hug. Nico leaned into the hug, letting his head rest against Hazel's, her curls tickling his neck slightly as the two of them sat on the edge of the temple's roof. The silence that settled between them this time was a comforting one; Hazel knew words were not what her brother needed right now.

“Why can't I just get over him?”

“Because you love him,” Hazel told Nico, breaking her silence. “And maybe you love him too much to get over him.” There was a ring of understanding in her voice, something that told Nico that Hazel knew what she was talking about. “Nico, love isn't easy. It's especially not easy for you and me. We're Pluto's children. Love will always be as hard for us as it was for our father.”

If anyone knew about love being hard for children of Hades, it was the god's Roman daughter. Not only had she lost Sammy Valdez, so long ago, but she'd also lost Frank Zhang, not so long ago, the son of Mars having sacrificed himself to protect Hazel and the others, to close the Doors of Death. She had not taken his death well, though she held herself in check until Gaea was defeated once and for all. After that, no one had been able to console her, not Nico, not Percy, not even Leo. She'd finally started recovering a few months after Frank's death, but had already pushed Leo too far away at that point, losing the love she _might_ have had with him.

“So what, I'm just going to keep loving him, even though he doesn't love me?” Nico asked, still leaning against his sister. 

“I'm not entirely sure he doesn't love you, Nico,” Hazel said. She shifted her head so her nose bumped against Nico's head, just a simple gesture of affection between the two siblings. “He did seem pretty upset when he called me to ask if you were around.”

“When did he call you?”

“A couple of days ago. He said he really needed to talk to you, but you were ignoring his Iris Messages.” Hazel let go of Nico and pulled away a little bit so she could look at him. There was a worried frown on her lips. “Nico, do you really think you don't mean anything to him?”

Nico wrinkled his nose. “I...I don't know.” He paused, arching his brow. “Wait, how much did he tell you?”

“Just that you two had an argument.”

“Hazel, you know you blush really easily, right?”

Hazel sucked in a breath, ducking her head to hide her reddening face. “H-he said you guys were, um...intimate.” 

“I'm going to kill him,” Nico muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. Honestly, they had both kept the whole situation under wraps for three months. Travis and Connor, as snoopy as they were, hadn't figured out that Nico and Percy had been actively having sex, and now Percy had told Hazel they'd been 'intimate'? “You haven't told Annabeth, have you?”

“Do you really think I'd tell Annabeth that my brother was canoodling with her ex-boyfriend?” Hazel deadpanned.

“I guess not, she'd probably flip her - ” Nico cut himself, only just realizing what Hazel had said. “Wait. _Ex-_ boyfriend?”

“Percy didn't tell you?” Hazel arched her brow, mirroring Nico's earlier action. “They broke up six months ago. Annabeth said they were keeping the break up quiet because they didn't want a big deal being made about it, but I thought Percy would've told you.”

Nico gave a shake of his head, but didn't say anything, still taken aback by this new information. He'd had no idea; Percy hadn't said a word. All this time, Nico had thought that Percy and Annabeth were still together. All those feelings of guilt he'd had during the months Nico had been with Percy were misplaced – how could he hurt Annabeth by sleeping with her boyfriend if Percy was not, in fact, her boyfriend?

He'd yelled at Percy for using him, had decided he meant nothing to the son of Poseidon. He'd rebuked and rebuffed the older demigod, declaring that he was done with Percy, all because he'd felt like Percy was only having sex with him because Annabeth wasn't there. He had been thoroughly convinced that Percy didn't return his feelings. Now he wasn't so sure.

“ _Di immortales_ ,” Nico muttered, letting his head drop into his hands. 

Hazel put her hand on her brother's shoulder. “Maybe you could stop ignoring his Iris Messages and talk to him?”

“He came back to camp this morning, just before I left to come here,” Nico told her, his voice muffled through his hands. “He tried to get me to stay and listen, but I shadow-traveled here before he could explain anything. Why would he talk to me now?”

“You could ask him that.”

Nico looked up when Hazel said that and saw that she was pointing east, where there was the figure of a unmistakably familiar teenager on a pegasus flying towards them over the hills. He gave a shaky sigh, biting his lower lip as he watched them fly closer. Hazel's hand on his shoulder tightened briefly, trying to encourage her brother to stand up and face the older demigod.

“You'll never know how he feels if you don't let him talk to you,” she reminded him, gently.

Nico gave a slight nod, heart racing in his chest. He was sure this was going to be rough, but Hazel was right; if he was ever going to know, he had to face Percy. So when Percy and Blackjack flew up to the temple roof, Nico stood to meet them.

“Hey, Hazel,” Percy greeted the daughter of Pluto. “Do you mind if I borrow your hard-headed brother?”

“Have at him,” Hazel replied, smiling lightly. “But I want him home by ten. We're going to see a movie in New Rome later.”

“I'll have him back.” Percy gave her a small smile in return, then held his hand out to Nico, offering him help onto Blackjack's back. The pegasus didn't seem all too pleased about having the son of Hades ride with Percy, but he let Nico on. “Hold on. We're just going over to the lake.”

Nico slipped his arms around Percy as Blackjack to take off. He hadn't been this close to the son of Poseidon since that last time they'd been together, now weeks ago. He could smell the perpetual scent of the sea on the older demigod, barely masked by the smell of the body wash Percy had used that morning. Just that scent alone helped Nico calm down considerably and, as they reached the lake, he found himself not wanting to let Percy go.

Percy did manage to coax him down when they landed, helping Nico dismount Blackjack before telling the pegasus to go visit Scipio and the other horses in the stables. They wouldn't need him around for a while. Blackjack made a snorting sound and took off into the air, heading for the stables and leaving Percy and Nico alone at the lakeside. 

“C'mon, let's go to the pier,” Percy said, reaching for Nico's hand. 

Nico gave a nod and let Percy lead him over to the pier. It was too early for most of the campers at Camp Jupiter to be awake on a Saturday morning, so the lake was all but abandoned. The only signs of life were the fish that leapt out of the water to catch insects and the occasional water spirit surfacing to greet the day. It was quiet, peaceful, just Nico and Percy as they sat along the edge of the pier, much how Nico had been sitting with Hazel just minutes ago.

“I'm sorry, Nico,” Percy spoke up. He still held Nico's hand, thumb idly smoothing over the younger demigod's skin. “I really messed up, didn't I?”

Nico looked at Percy, taking in how the son of Poseidon had his free hand tangled in his hair, eyes cast down at the water below them. Even from the side, Nico could see guilt on the older teen's face. Knowing what he did now, Nico wondered how much of the guilt on Percy's face was because of what had happened between them.

“Perc - ”

“I didn't once think about how you felt,” Percy said, cutting Nico off. His voice was steady, but the tone of it suggested that it was taking a lot for Percy to keep it that way. “I was being selfish, only thinking about what made _me_ feel good.” His hand fell from his hair to cover his face. “I had no idea.”

“No, you didn't,” Nico agreed. There was no denying that Percy hadn't had any idea about how Nico felt. It wasn't as though Nico had been forthcoming, either, though. He let his head drop so he couldn't see Percy, looking, instead, down at his free hand as he picked at the torn knee in his jeans. “I never told you.”

“You asked me if I loved you.”

Nico couldn't stop himself from flinching, reminded of the day he'd left Percy and this whole ordeal spiraled out of control. He nodded, swallowing around a lump forming in his throat. “Yeah.”

“You said you wanted to mean something.”

“...Y-yeah.”

Percy shifted, turning so he was facing the younger teen. “Nico, look at me.”

It was the same words, repeated verbatim from that argument almost a week ago. Only this time, Nico wasn't going to refuse and he certainly wasn't going to be throwing any shoes at the older demigod. He lifted his head, his dark eyes meeting Percy's bright ones. For a long moment, neither of them spoke, tension building between them. Percy seemed to be at a loss for words now that he had Nico's attention for the first time in weeks.

“Percy, if you don't start talking, I'm gonna get up and leave,” Nico warned. It was an idle threat with little feeling behind it, but he had to know what Percy had to say. If pushing him a little by threatening to leave would get Percy to speak, so be it.

The son of Poseidon gave a soft smile, despite the threat. “No, you won't,” he countered. He tugged at Nico's hand, pulling the younger demigod closer, their noses just touching. “You mean something, Nico. You mean a lot to me. I'm just sorry it took me so long to figure it out.”

“That's only half an answer, Percy.”

Percy gave a light laugh. “I love you,” he told the younger teen before pressing their lips together in a soft, slow kiss.

This kiss was so different from that first one over three months ago. That first kiss all that time ago had been spontaneous, the spark that had led to everything after, but it had lacked the emotion that flooded this one. It seemed to back up Percy's claim and Nico paused only moments before leaning in and returning the kiss.

They pulled apart and their faces remained close, Percy's hand still holding Nico's, thumb tenderly running back and forth over Nico's knuckles. No words passed between them, neither of them willing to speak and break the fragile moment. So instead, Nico leaned in and kissed Percy again. It was a gentle, silent 'I love you', one that was stronger than anything the son of Hades could say himself.

Percy leaned into the kiss, slipping his free hand behind Nico's head, letting his fingers thread through Nico's hair as they kissed. Nico's hand found its own place on Percy's thigh, where it rested. The hands that were together twisted, fingers entwining and coming to rest over Nico's hip. It was all about connections, holding each other, and finding resolution.

“How come you took so long to figure it out?” Nico asked after they broke apart again. “It's been over three months since this started.”

Percy kept Nico close, not letting the younger teen pull away. “I didn't take that long,” he defended himself. “You're the one who wouldn't talk to me for three weeks.”

“You still went three months without once considering my feelings. Your words, Percy.”

Percy heaved a sigh and pulled Nico closer, bringing the son of Hades into his lap, right at the edge of the pier. “I'm sorry, Nico. I just...when this all started, I thought you knew what it meant.”

Nico furrowed his brow, nose scrunching up slightly in confusion. “What?

“Well, I mean, I wouldn't have gone that far if you didn't mean something to me,” Percy pointed out. He tipped his head forward, touching his forehead to Nico's temple. “You know me, Nico. I'm not the kind of guy that just jumps into bed with someone if I don't care about them. That's not who I am.”

“I...” Nico ducked his head, feeling rather embarrassed for his own rash actions. He hadn't known, hadn't understood. In his own guilt, he'd been unable to see what he'd meant to Percy. “I thought you were still with Annabeth, so...”

Percy tensed a little beneath Nico. “Y-yeah, we broke up.”

“Six months ago. Hazel told me.”

“Oh.” Percy's arms wrapped around Nico, pulling him closer. He tucked his head into the curve of Nico's neck, letting his lips smooth over the olive skin exposed by the younger demigod's shirt. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It's kind of a hard subject.” 

Nico gave a half-hearted nod, suppressing a shiver that coursed through his body from the brush of Percy's lips. Percy's hands were slipping under the black shirt that Nico wore, fingers just trailing over his skin. “S-So everything that happened...?”

“I rushed things a little, didn't I?” Percy asked, murmuring against the son of Hades' neck. 

“You're rushing things a little now,” Nico pointed out.

Percy lifted his head and gave Nico a smug little grin. “Can't help myself. You've ignored me for three weeks.”

“Percy.”

“Okay, okay.” Percy leaned in and planted a kiss to the tip of Nico's nose before letting the other teen make things serious again. “What about everything, you were asking?”

“What exactly brought all of it on?” Nico asked, letting his arms drape over Percy's shoulders. 

Percy didn't answer right away, clearly taking a moment to sort his thoughts. Nico watched the older demigod's face, catching a fleeting wave of fear wash over the son of Poseidon's features. He wasn't sure what to make of that. What did Percy fear? Finally, Percy heaved a sigh, tightening his arms around Nico.

“When...when Annabeth and I were in Tartarus, we saw some pretty terrible things,” Percy admitted, his voice quiet and restrained. “You know what it's like down there. How the mists of Tartarus give you visions of your worst fears.” 

Nico nodded tensely, suppressing a shudder. He remembered the heart-gripping visions that had nearly consumed him during his brief trek through the deepest realm of the Underworld. Percy and Annabeth had been down there longer than Nico had. Of course they would have seen things, too.

Percy took in a deep breath, pulling his lower lip between his teeth for a moment, steeling himself before speaking up again. “I kept seeing you. Tartarus showed me visions of you, dying, closing the Doors of Death, disappearing from my life forever. I couldn't deal with that.”

Nico leaned closer to Percy, touching his forehead against Percy's, mirroring Percy's own earlier gesture. He understood; Tartarus was a terrifying place. Even if one survived the monsters, the black mists of the realm tortured inhabitants endlessly with nightmarish hallucinations. Nico had walked through that bleak realm once and had barely made it out with his sanity intact. Percy and Annabeth had been no luckier than Nico when they'd made the journey through Tartarus.

“Annabeth knew,” Percy continued. “That's why we broke up. She knew what I saw and what you meant to me. It hurt her, so after the last fight with Gaea, she teamed up with Jason and Reyna to help with the truce between the camps here in New Rome so she wouldn't have to see me.”

“But you're back to being friends now,” Nico said. “Right? I know you guys talk over Iris Message, which was why I thought, well, y'know.”

“Yeah, but we're not really on the good terms we used to be.” Percy gave a light shrug. “But we're working things out.” He bumped his nose against Nico's. “Kind of like how we're supposed be right now. Or are you ignoring that too?”

Nico wrinkled his nose at Percy. “Are you going to hold the ignoring thing over my head forever?”

“Just until you apologize and say you'll be my boyfriend.”

A smile tugged at Nico's lips, even as he rolled his eyes at Percy. “I'm sorry I ignored you,” he told the older demigod. He leaned in and let his lips brush over Percy's before adding, “And I'll only be your boyfriend if you'll be mine.”

Percy's only response to that was to snag Nico close and catch the teen's lips in a deep, thorough kiss that claimed Nico as Percy's and, as Nico returned the kiss with equal intensity, claimed Percy as Nico's. In that moment, the weight that Nico had been feeling for weeks lifted and he felt the best he had in months.

* * * * *

Of course, neither of them were really off the hook with each other until they talked everything through. Nico had to explain his side of things and promise to talk to Percy if he ever felt the son of Poseidon was using him again. Percy, in turn, promised to focus more on Nico and not let things get out of hand the same way it had previously. It was a long discussion, one that took them a long time to finish, moving their conversation from the lake to one of the coffee shops that were scattered throughout Camp Jupiter.

Sitting in the corner of the coffee shop with hot drinks steaming between them, Nico and Percy decided that they needed to start over, clear the slate from the last few months, and make sure their newly established relationship began right this time. Neither of them was willing to let go of the other, not when they were finally patching things up. 

“So are we going to count this as a date?” Nico asked, picking at the cinnamon scone he'd gotten with his drink. He pulled a corner piece off and popped it into his mouth, chewing slowly.

“Consider it a pre-date,” Percy told him, a light smirk over his lips. “I'll take you on a proper first date when you're not supposed to be visiting your sister.”

Nico nodded, swallow the bit of scone. As much as he wanted to start this relationship again on the right foot, he couldn't just ditch Hazel. He'd feel terrible if he left her on her own when they were supposed to hang out. “I'll hold you to that.”

As they talked over scones and coffee, other customers came into the shop, in search of the gods' gift to mankind that was the double-shot espresso. Among them, Nico caught sight of a familiar set of blonde curls. He instinctively stilled, shrinking back slightly to avoid catching Annabeth's gaze, until Percy touched his hand re-assuredly while waving the daughter of Athena over. 

“I didn't know you were over here,” Annabeth said, hands on her hips as she stood next to the table where Percy and Nico sat. There was a small smile on her lips, but her grey eyes were dark when she looked at Nico. “I see you finally got a hold of him,”

Nico understood; though Annabeth may act like everything was okay, she was always going to be upset with him because Percy's love had shifted from her to the son of Hades. She would not be ready to forgive either of them fully, Nico especially. She had loved Percy longer than Nico, had finally gotten to be with him, and then lost him in such a short time – because of Nico. The daughter of Athena might never forgive him.

“Yeah,” Percy told her, interrupting Nico's thoughts. “Told you he was stubborn.”

“And we all know you're more so.”

Percy laughed, hand squeezing gently at Nico's hand. “Of course I am.”

Annabeth nodded. “Well, good for you,” she told him. Nico could hear a bit of a strain in her voice, as though Annabeth were holding back. “Glad to see you're happy. If you'll excuse me, I'm meeting up with Reyna and I said I'd bring breakfast.”

With that, she turned to go get back in line, leaving Percy and Nico behind her. Percy's thumb ran over Nico's knuckles in the silence that passed after the daughter of Athena's quick departure and, for a few moments, Percy kept his eyes on his ex-girlfriend, a thoughtful expression on his face. Nico bit his lip, feeling uncomfortable in the silence, but not sure how to break it.

He didn't have to, as Percy spoke up, “She's still mad at me. But I hope she'll forgive me and move on. She doesn't need this holding her back.”

“She'll always love you, though,” Nico pointed out. Annabeth and Percy had always been close and Nico knew that the daughter of Athena would always care about Percy; she'd cared about him too long to stop.

Percy nodded. “I know. That's the kind of person Annabeth is. You two have that in common.”

Nico arched a brow at the older teen. “What do you mean?”

“When you fall in love with someone, you do it so completely that it leaves an everlasting mark on your heart. Even if the person you fall in love with hurts you, there's always a part of you that loves them.”

“Since when are you so observant about how Annabeth and I fall in love?” Nico asked.

“Since I talked to Hazel and she told me that exact same thing,” Percy grinned.

Nico shook his head, even as he smiled. “Stealing lines from my baby sister, Percy? Really?”

“Call it repeating a lesson I learned,” the son of Poseidon countered. He gave Nico's hand a squeeze. “One that I took to heart.”

Percy leaned over the table and pressed a light kiss against Nico's lips, right there in the middle of the coffee shop. It was a confident, tender kiss; a small, but public declaration that Percy loved Nico. Through it, the love that Nico had once thought would be the end of him, was returned completely and became a love that would carry both him and Percy through whatever came next. 

The kiss was interrupted when one of the baristas came over and dropped some glitter over the two boys' heads and asked them if they'd like a congratulatory muffin. Nico blushed while Percy laughed and they got up to leave instead, choosing to take the muffin to go. They'd give it to Hazel as thanks for letting Percy borrow Nico.

 

_**~ finis** _


End file.
